Ten Ways To Know If Someone Is Lying To You
Written by: James R. Weiss
You are actively engaged in a conversation with someone close to you. It could be a friend, colleague or a relative for that matter. You are enjoying each other’s company. Perhaps you are having lunch or discussing a new business deal.
Everything seems to be going well, but for some unknown reasons you are receiving mixed signals from the other person. Is it your imagination playing tricks on you or are you actually picking up on the fact that he is either lying to you or deliberately omitting important information from your conversation?
At the end of your chat you walk away confused. “Bob wouldn’t lie to me. He’s one of my trusted employees and friend”. Sure enough several weeks later something you discussed with Bob at your last friendly conversation turned out to be untrue. None the less it was a lie. “I knew it, I just knew it”. Now the question becomes how did I know he was lying to me? Was it a lucky guess or was I picking up on the unconscious signals he was sending me?
As part of your professional development you must continue learning more about the verbal and visual cues people are constantly sending you.
A great deal of this information is covered in another one of my other publications: How To Read Body Language.
Ten Ways To Know If someone Is Lying To You
- There is an incongruence between what the person is saying and his body language. Here is an example you may be able to relate to. You and that special person in your life are talking about your future together. As lover boy is pouring out his heart to you he is shifting his weight from foot to foot. If that’s not bad enough his eyes have narrowed (flight or fight syndrome) and his teeth are clenched enough to be notices. These are strong messages and hopefully you can question him further about your relationship before it goes any further
- The person you are talking to fails to make strong eye contact with you during your conversation. Your immediate thought should be “why is she afraid to look directly at me? What is Donna hiding or afraid of? ”
- His eyes are shifting from left to right as he is speaking to you. If you are old enough to remember the Watergate Hearings during the early70’s you saw how Nixon was shifting his eyes during a cross examination by the senate. And we all know what happened to him.
- The person you are speaking to swallows harder than usual and his gestures become more pronounced. This is a universal message that needs no further explanation. Think back to the scene in The Godfather when Al Pachino’s character confronts Carlo about Sonny’s “You have to answer for Sonny Carlo.” Carlo’s actions are a dead give-away (no pun intended)
- During your conversation the other person’s face may become flushed and he is speaking faster than normal. This person knows he is lying and wants to finish the conversation as quickly as possible.
- Your intuitive/gut feeling is telling you that this fellow is lying to you. There may be no visual or verbal cues, but somehow you know this character is not being honest with you. It may be just a vague feeling, but don’t discount it. If you are interested in developing your own intuition read my article on developing your intuition.
- The person you are speaking with goes so far as to swear to you that the information he is giving you is correct and very valuable. I’ve seen grown well educated adults use this line of reasoning to prove a point. Walk away if you can when someone takes this immature approach.
If you have any questions about the information in this article or if you need guidance with your search for a new career please do not hesitate to contact me